A Song to the Sun
by Mischief in Mink
Summary: IchiRuki, oneshot. She was the moon and he was her sun. She was afraid of the sun, however instead of keeping her distance like she supposedly did, she accidentally fell in love with him. What would she do to overcome her doubts?


**Disclaimer: Taiyou no Uta is not mine, Good-bye Days is not mine too, and even as i****nsane and mentally-ill as we could be, we all know that Kubo, not Lazy Mew, owns Bleach.**

**Author's note: Phew, this is an icebreaker for the ice block named 'writers block' residing in my head! Hope you like it…Lazy Mew-ish sappy-ness and mushy-ness inside :D the story is inspired by Yui's movie Taiyou no Uta (literally means A Song to the Sun) but I modified it a lot so if you watched the movie and find out that this story is out of the plot…well I didn't intend to follow the original plot anyway.**

**Dedication: If you read the story and like it and review it, I'd love to dedicate this to you.**

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**A Song to the Sun**

_So now, I want to see you, that's what I've decided_

_I want you to hear this song in my pocket_

I wanted to see you.

But I couldn't.

I sat on my bed and peeked out of the window. There you were, basking in sunlight in all your glory, the orange-haired boy that had been capturing my attention ever since the first time I saw you. You were holding a surfboard, waving at your friends at the beach as you grinned widely.

I fell in love with you.

Everyday it felt like torture to me as I watched over you from this room, hoping that someday you would look at my window and notice that I was there, alive, or to be exact, still alive, seeing how hard I was struggling to fight this disease I had.

I wanted to forget you and go back to the day when I was all alone, when I didn't know that you existed in this world, when I didn't know that there was such a person just outside my window whom I would have been able to meet if it wasn't because of my disease. I wanted to erase all your existence from my heart and I wanted that I would die having only memories of my brother and sister who were the only people I was living with. But I couldn't.

I had never met you, I had never talked to you and I had never even seen you in real, but I was in love with you. You didn't even know me. You didn't know that there was this girl, Kuchiki Rukia, who watched over you day after day without fail, hoping silently that you would ever look at her even just for once.

So now, I wanted to see you.

That was what I had decided.

_Oh good-bye days, __now that the things have changed_

_We said our goodbyes so long ago_

_But your kindness stays with me_

I would never ever dream that you planned to spend a night at the beach, but it was a blessing that you did.

One night I looked out of my windows and saw you, still clad in only your shorts, holding your surfboard as you stared far, far away to the end of sky. I wondered what you were thinking about. But the next second it struck me square at the heart—it was my only chance to see you, to meet you, to hear your voice and to know your name. How funny it could be? I was in love with someone whose name I didn't know. But love could do funny things to us. It would turn the world upside down and nobody would care as long as we were all in love.

I was in love with you.

And I wanted to see you. Was I wrong? Was I being unrealistic?

So I ran out of the house, or actually, snuck out of the house, clutching my cardigan tightly onto my frail body. It was wasted—rotting down because of my disease. But I forced my body to bring me as fast as it allowed. I ran and ran and before I knew it I bumped into you.

You looked shocked, I could tell. Your eyes told me that you were perplexed, shocked and...scared. I could see that brief glint of fear flashing in your eyes and all of a sudden I felt so bad, I felt that I never deserved to have the desire to see you. I was ready to escape, run away and leave you, but what really shocked me was that you grabbed my arm instead, balancing me back onto my two weak legs. Later, we would be sitting on the beach watching the night slowly falling.

You put your surfboard beside you and rested your arms on your knees. You were truly the most charming human ever existed. I sat beside you, fingering the edge of my skirt absentmindedly.

You flashed me your smile—or actually, your smirk—and told me your name. Ichigo. That was funny and I almost laughed if I wasn't so enchanted by the fact that I was talking to you, the boy I fell in love with from seeing him surfing on the beach every morning. How could you have such a...well, girlish, name? I thought your name was something more masculine, but no, you said it was Ichigo and I knew you weren't lying or trying to pull some bad joke. It was truly Ichigo, and you didn't forget to tell me that the meaning wasn't the small red fruits but it was 'he who protects'. Ichi for one and go for guardian angel.

Ichigo, I thought it was the best name ever created in the whole universe. Whoever your parents were, I was truly grateful that they named you something that was really thoughtful...even though it sounded funny.

I told you that my name is Rukia. You laughed, saying that it is a weird name. I couldn't just keep silent and I replied playfully that you were a strawberry. You just laughed so hard and you said that nobody ever had the nerve to tell it right before your face. I must have blushed furiously but you just continued laughing and said that it was okay. I was glad.

You asked me if you could meet me again the next day. I felt like soaring to the outer space and I said sure. I was happy...more than happy. You really did make my day.

But my happiness lasted shorter than the beautiful spark of fireworks in the sky on New Year's Eve. You stood up and said that you had to go, and when I turned over to see you leaving I saw a very beautiful girl in a tank top and long Hawaiian skirt waving at you then hugged you tightly the moment you reached her.

I could hear the sound of my heart breaking. It was louder than the crashing of the waves in the sea.

But still...your kindness stayed with me...

_Can I love you forever?_

_Sometimes I don't think I can…_

My brother knew that I snuck out the night before, but he wasn't mad.

Instead, he knelt in front of me when he came into my room to bring over my breakfast. It was porridge again, as usual, but my sister Hisana was undoubtedly the greatest chef ever and I could never get enough of the meal she cooked.

He told me not to get involved too far with you, because he said that it would only make my condition more difficult than how it already was. He was worried that I would live in a pain of not being able to be with you, and die in a pain of knowing you for too short. I listened to him and told him not to worry, I didn't get involved too far with you anyway. He just kept silent but I knew inside, he disagreed with my choice.

But he said nothing and just told me once again that I better took good care of myself. I nodded and thanked him for the respect and privacy, but actually I also wondered—how much you actually worth to me so that I risked everything I had just to be with you for one second, just to feel how it was like to be by your side, staring at your face and hearing your laughter.

Then I realised. I could never measure how much you worth for me. Not because you were worthless, but because you were priceless.

I didn't have to wonder anymore. I knew this wasn't a false love. Even though you had had someone whom you loved so deeply, it was okay, because in the end I was going to die anyway. Wouldn't it be harder if we loved each other and suddenly I had to go away and never to come back? I couldn't put such a burden on you. Let me carry that burden myself, as a punishment for loving you when I knew I was going to die soon.

I couldn't hurt you, because I loved you too much. It was okay for me that you didn't love me back, all I wanted was just a minute with you, one more of your laughter, one more of that smirk…simply just one more time being with you by your side. I could feel a pain swirling up in my heart when I remembered that beautiful girl again, but that was okay, and it was even better that way.

That way I wouldn't hurt you.

And even though I had a doubt that I couldn't love you forever, I knew that deep inside my heart, you would always stay there, never to go away.

I would always love you.

_Oh good-bye days, __things are already changing_

_But right here deep in my heart, it's alright_

_Your kindness stays with me_

And Ichigo, we met again. You looked as gorgeous as usual and I looked as sickly as usual but it was okay. You asked me why I was just able to meet you at night. I explained that I had this disease that prevented me to go out under the sun. You laughed and said that you were a sun but I was still able to go near you. I laughed, but I wasn't able to reply anything. You had my tongue knotted back then.

Then you said that I was like a moon, because I looked so frail and pallid but nevertheless I looked beautiful. I almost smiled at that, if not for the painful memory of that beautiful girl popping back in my head again. Instead of smiling I bit my lips as hard as I could, choking the tears back, and saying to myself silently that it was more of a lie. Also, it was only our second meeting.

I wanted to believe you, but I couldn't.

You must have seen something strange on my face because you immediately scrutinised my face and asked me what went wrong. I pulled a smile so slight you would have mistaken it as the effect of moonlight on my face. But you knew that it wasn't the moonlight…it was the moon. Yes, it was me, the moon in your eyes…the moon for a sun I could never reach.

That moment I realised how true it was. You were like the sun that always shone brightly among all other things, even outshining all the brightest stars adorning the sky, and I was like the moon, always looking at you and depending on you to shine, to glow, to survive. What was moon without a sun? It would never be able to glow beautifully without the light it received from the sun shining so mightily far away. The moon always longed to reach the sun, but the sun would never see the moon, for he was shining during the daytime, while the moon glowed sadly every time night fell.

There should have been tears falling from my eyes because the next thing I knew was your fingers on my cheeks, wiping away the crystal drops and your eyes, piercing mine like a pair of beautiful amber. I froze. I didn't know I was crying. Silently.

You said that you didn't know what was wrong with me but you would drive all my fear away if I allowed you. My heart screamed that I should tell him he could do that, but my mouth betrayed me and the denial went out in a silent, throbbing whisper that was more like a sob to our ears. Your eyes soothed, and you did a thing I would never imagine you doing—you hugged me tightly as if we were lovers, not two people who had just known each other's name the night before. It made me cry again. You said it was okay and I could just pour my heart out. I wanted to stop, my pride told me that I should stop crying, but the soothing touch of your fingers on my skin put me on a spell so strong all I did was just crying onto your shoulder.

And in my confusion I did the worst mistake of all.

I told you that I loved you. You froze altogether the moment you heard my unexpected confession. I also realised how foolish I was—and I quickly pulled back from your arms. I saw your eyes and those amber pools were filled with shock and disbelief. I trembled fearfully, ready to stand up and go away from that place, but you caught me back.

You laughed, yes, you freaking laughed and I didn't understand why. You said you loved me too. I didn't believe you. After all, you just knew me yesterday, how could you have loved me the next day? No. It had to be false love, Ichigo. But your laughter grew louder and I would have smacked you if you weren't so charming.

You asked me if I knew you before. I said no. You asked me if I remembered you. I said no, but it surfaced some distant memories in my mind.

You smiled softly at me and said that you were indeed, actually my childhood friend.

_I don't want to worry about what will happen next_

_But I couldn't help it_

_"Ichigo! Wait up!"_

_The little orange-haired boy just laughed and ran even faster. The raven-haired little girl behind him, apparently his best friend, tried to catch up with him but no luck, he was fast even as a four-year old. Finally the girl stopped and stomped her foot on the ground angrily as she shouted, "Fine, Ichigo! I don't want to play with you anymore!" and with the words she stormed away._

_Ichigo, the little boy, must have realised that he was wrong because he immediately changed direction and started running towards his friend. In no time he caught up with the little girl and noticed that indeed, she was crying._

_"Rukia?" he touched the girl's shoulder, but instead of a reply he received a smack on his hand, ordering him to get his hand off her shoulder. He winced and shouted, "Rukia! Why did you do it?"_

_"You're bad to me, Ichigo." Rukia cried, wiping her tears hastily. Even as a little girl, her pride always commanded her not to cry. "You're bad…and I hate you!"_

_Ichigo's face changed and he just shrugged, "Okay…but I don't hate you."_

_Hisana came running towards both of them when she heard Rukia screaming. "What happened?" she asked worriedly, quickly kneeling beside the two children. "Rukia? Why are you crying?" worry coloured her voice._

_"I hate Ichigo! He's a bad boy!" Rukia cried louder as she sought shelter behind her sister's back. Hisana just sighed and turned to look at Ichigo. Ichigo tensed, expecting a glare from Hisana, but instead the older girl just smiled at him sadly and whispered softly, "Ichigo, do you mind if I bring Rukia back? And please, just say goodbye to her."_

_Ichigo was speechless at first but then he shook his head indicating that he didn't mind. He didn't forget to ask, "Can I play with her tomorrow?"_

_"We'll see." Hisana murmured, her face became sadder. Ichigo wondered why, but he didn't ask. Later he realised that it was their last meeting. Rukia and her family moved away from her old house._

_He missed her. He waited each and every day for her to come back. But she never came back._

_She never came back._

_He was worried of her. He didn't even know why she moved away. And of course, Ichigo didn't want her to remember him as a bad boy who didn't care of her. Time passed and years changed, and he was finally old enough to do something about this one childhood friend of his._

_He would go and find her._

_Whenever I sing that song_

_I wish that you are by my side_

_But I'm glad that I have met you and found your kindness_

You asked me if I remembered now.

I almost fainted. God…it was you, you. Kurosaki Ichigo, my neighbour ever since I was born, my childhood friend who pulled a prank every day without fail, the first boy I played 'wedding ceremony' game with, my first best friend ever since I lived.

My first love.

"Ichigo…" I said, and you patted my head softly, the amber eyes were filled with compassion and yearn.

"I miss you," was all that you said.

I didn't know what to say or do. Now that I remembered you, it felt even more painful than before. How could it be that I didn't remember you? You should have been the only one who wouldn't leave my mind…then why didn't I remember you? Why? I looked up at you and I could felt two trails of cold tears making their way down from my eyes. I didn't care. It was more painful than how much I could take.

You pulled me closer to a hug, telling me that that it wasn't my fault. You said you knew that the medication I was taking for my disease would affect my memories after all. That gave me more reason to hate myself, but if you said it was alright, then…it was really alright.

I managed to ask who the beautiful girl I saw before was. You laughed and gave me the answer I had never expected before—it was one of your twin sisters. I didn't know it, but I thought I was never meant to know it anyway. You smiled and said you would introduce me to them soon.

I couldn't wait.

I waved you goodbye as the morning sun started to approach the world, and you gave me another hug before you let me go. I was about to skip away towards my house when your voice made me come to a halt and turn back.

"I love you, Rukia."

I would've come running to your place if it wasn't for the sun, the real sun that I was so afraid of, so I just smiled at you and whispered barely to myself, "I love you too." before continuing to run away from the breaking dawn.

Now as I look out of the windows to see a certain orange-haired guy, I smile to myself. You wave at me and I wave back, feeling contented and blessed.

And as I reach out for my guitar, once again the moon sings a song to the sun.

"_Good-bye days…"_

**-fin-**


End file.
